Journal entry #4
I'm sitting in my room with my earphones in, listening to music, trying to NOT listen to my parents arguing. That's all they seem to do lately. And when they aren't together, all I hear is them griping about each other.
My dads job takes him away sometimes, and a few times I think my mom insinuated that my dad was sneaking off to see some other woman. That hurts me when i hear it. But I'm preparing myself ahead of time. If they separate (which is looking more and more likely) then I need to decide who I'm going to stay with...
Probably mom. But maybe dad. I'm not sure.
I can't tell anyone that my parents are fighting like this. I can tell them they are fighting, but I can't get into details. They wouldn't understand. They'd think I'm overreacting. But they don't understand what it's like when the only thing you hear all day is arguing.
When my dad and mom aren't arguing, it's my sisters or sometimes even me! I'm getting so sick of it! Cant they just... Stop?
When I do my school, I get so stressed. I can't concentrate! No one understands. My mom, again, believes I'm just being lazy.
But she doesn't know what it's like when all you want to do is collapse and let the world drain out of you. When you just can't go on, but you have to anyways. It's so hard!
But... I can't explain that to anyone. Because no one understands.