Philanthropy... It's Journal Entry Friday

phi·lan·thro·py/fəˈlanTHrəpē/Noun

1. The desire to promote the welfare of others, expressed esp. by the generous donation of money to good causes.

This is one of my favorite things to talk to teens about. So often, as teens, you can feel like "you're just not old enough" for anything...not old enough to drive, not old enough to have a job, not old enough to walk to school, not old enough for Prom, not old enough for... well, you can fill in the blanks.

So, I think it is natural that if this message is pounded through your head enough, you start to just ASSUME you are too young to do any BIG thing.

Well, I am here to tell you that is a not the case. There are many teens (and even younger kids) who have changed the lives of many people because they saw a need and they did something to fill it.

I talk to kids all the time about the "Oprah effect" - what's that? Well, it's my own term for feeling like your efforts aren't making a difference if you don't end up on Oprah. It's this kind of thinking, "Sure, I could help stock the shelves at the food pantry but no one would know I did it. So, it's not really helping anyone if it's not making the news."

You don't have to make the news to make a difference. You can affect the lives of the people around you by one simple (even anonymous) act of kindness. I believe we were put on this earth to give back humbly. Giving humbly means to give with your whole heart without NEEDING a "thank you" or any notoriety.

I have gotten many letters over the years from teens thanking me for affecting their lives in a way that helped shape who they are as adults and in some cases, as parents. (Yeah, that makes me feel old!) But I have never been on Oprah or in the news. Does not being on the news cancel out my impact on their  lives? Of course not!

So, what if I decided NOT to help them when they needed it b/c it wasn't going to get me on the news? Sounds pretty selfish, doesn't it?

So, WHAT THINGS MOVE YOU?
What ONE THING do you want to affect?
What group of PEOPLE needs YOU?
Who is waiting for YOU to help?

Take some quiet time right now. Close the door, get out your journal, get comfy and close your eyes.

Think about the things that tug on your heart, the things you see about the world that concern you, maybe they are things on the  news that make you cry.

Maybe there are things that affect your life personally?
Is it a disease that needs research funding? (Cancer, fibromayalgia, etc)
Is it something about your family life that you makes you want to bless others in your same situation? (Adoption, single-parent homes, etc)
Some efforts can be for non-humans, too...like abused animals or endangered species.

What is it for you?

Start making a list in your journal. You will probably have a long list.

There are MANY things that move me to tears but only a few that I feel I have the talents and passions to be able to help. Some I can support but don't feel the same passion for as I do for the ones I feel like I could stand up and speak to people about. I am in FULL support of rescuing dogs from puppy mills, but my talents are based in my connections with teens so that is "my" cause.

 Now, narrow it down to a couple that are the MOST meaningful to you.

Now, which one are you passionate enough about that you feel you could speak to a small group of people about and they would "join" you in your activism for this cause?

Your journal exercise today is to write what you would say to that small group about your cause. Write a mini-speech.

Use this journal page if you don't have one of your own:

Your "A HA!" MOMENT! Once you write your "mini speech" you may find yourself imagining organizing help efforts for your cause. Google what other people are doing to raise money or awareness. Some causes simply need people to collect items; winter coats, school supplies, etc.

Which friends would make a perfect committee?

GO! Make it happen!
Come back and let us know what you are doing! This is SO exciting!

Philanthropy...

phi·lan·thro·py/fəˈlanTHrəpē/Noun

1. The desire to promote the welfare of others, expressed esp. by the generous donation of money to good causes.

I didn't know this word until I was in college. It wasn't something anyone had discussed with me or taught me about until I was face to face with many GREEK organizations that supported so many things. I saw the tens of thousands of dollars that one organization could raise for Alzheimer's or Muscular Dystrophy in a relatively short time.

Of course I went to Penn State which is the home of the Largest Student Run Philanthropy on the PLANET! Dance Marathon! This past February the Greek Organizations of Penn State went above and beyond for CHILDHOOD CANCER and raised...

Yes, you read it right....$9.56 MILLION!!!

When I saw this potential teens had while I WAS a teen at Penn State, I actually wished someone had told me that I could make a difference. ME.

You put a lot of "ME's" together and you get results like this! I wish more teens realized their potential when it comes to touching the lives of others in a positive way.

I have to wonder if all the hopelessness teens feel is not a result of not living this reality. Can you imagine taking a teen who feels like she has no worth, no potential and putting her in a situation where she gets to change the life of one person. The results would be astronomical!

When I was preparing to jump into this world of writing for and speaking to teens, a very wise businessman told me to write my personal mission statement. When I was thinking about teens not plugging into PHILANTHROPIES like they should be, I was reminded of this mission statement.

This is what I wrote:
"My mission is to use my gifts to positively influence children of all ages to love and respect themselves, others and the life they've been given and to empower them with the truth that they can be a changing force that positively influences the world around them."

And that's my challenge to you today. Think about how your want to impact the world around you? Do you find yourself interested in one specific type of charity? Is there something that when it flashes across the TV you are immobile? Something that you wish you had a magic wand to fix? This could be your soul trying to get your attention. What "moves" you?

Here are some great stories about teens making a difference. Check them out and see if anything sparks your fancy. We will be continuing this conversation on Friday with our Journaling Day.

Teen Bakes for Cancer Patients
Teen Girl Uses Her Faith to Guide her Philanthropy Choices
Trading Probation for Running

Where is your heart in this matter?

Do YOU respect YOU?

So, lately I have been getting a lot of mail from teen girls complaining about the lack of respect they get from their boyfriends or simply boys in general.

I always assume that for every teen brave enough to step out of their comfort zone and contact me, there are probably 50 that don't have the nerve to ask.

I thought it would be a good subject to cover considering I spend alot... and I mean A LOT... of time talking to girls about this, it makes me sad that so many accept behavior from others that steals their self-respect. Sad for everyone involved.
This isn't a post to point a finger or insult anyone. Quite honestly if you are disrespecting someone you are hurting just as much as the person you are trying to hurt. The people who do the disrespecting make it quite obvious that they are struggling with something. When someone has a regular impulse to humiliate or bully someone else, there is pain there.

Learning more about RESPECT will help both sides of this problem.

I recently reached out to a girl on facebook who had something posted by a boy on her wall that just about made my eyes water. Now, I am not in a bubble. Yes, I am a mom but being involved in the lives of today's teens means I have walked around the block with more than a few of them. I know the lingo, I know the way peers goof around with each other.

But what this boy wrote was inappropriate. I was offended.The first thing I did was look at how long ago it had been posted  - over an hour
Then I looked at how many comments had been left - many, many
Finally I searched to see what her response was - "lol"
·      Why did I look at WHEN it was posted? When someone posts something on your facebook that is obviously offensive, leaving it there is a REFLECTION of the RESPECT you demand. By not erasing that post, that poor girl was being viewed as a doormat, open to anyone's dirt and grime.
·     Why did I see how many comments had been left? I was curious how many people had seen the post before me and how many were willing to stand up for a friend.
·      Why did I look to see her response? I was hoping I would find that she had let the derogatory comment up so she could respond appropriately and show the world (so to speak) WHAT her WORTH was!

I was so sad for her that her only response was "lol." I wanted to see her leave a response something like this:

"Look, if you feel the need to be inappropriate, don't do it here. If you need to degrade a girl to make yourself feel better, that is sad but I am asking you to NEVER comment on my wall again."

When I messaged her we chatted for a while and within the first couple seconds of our conversation, I felt blessed to have met her. She was such a beautiful, gentle soul. She simply explained that this boy was a very good friend, he was just kidding, "he always talks like that" and it was meant in jest.

Teenagers live, sleep and breathe the desire to TEST THE WATERS. This boy is testing WHO he can go just a little bit farther with. He wants to see how much his friends will take. He's not a bad guy. He's not an evil person. He is just testing the waters. He wants to know what his boundaries are.

This is a dangerous situation for both the people he disrespects and himself. The lines need to be clear.

For Him: He needs to know what respect feels like - because giving respect actually FEELS GOOD! But if no one around him demands it, he will never know that beauty. He will never be a true blessing to himself and others. He is missing out on an amazing part of his own life.

For Her: She needs to know what respect feels like - because being respected actually FEELS GOOD! But if you let someone treat you with less than the utmost respect verbally, you are opening the door to being mistreated physically. If a boy knows he can say those things to you with no reaction, what happens when you are all at a party and he wants something you are not willing to give. Do you think he will respect your decision? If you set the boundaries IMMEDIATELY, there will be no question that "NO" means "NO!"

DEMAND RESPECT! You are worth it!
GIVE RESPECT! They are worth it!
RESPECT YOURSELF! Feel worth it!

I would love to hear your conversations on this subject.

This song is for you - SUPERCHICK "Hey Hey!"

I have always loved this song and pass it on to every girl I know.
The band is SUPERCHICK. This is a video a that someone made to share the lyrics. When I watched it and saw the butterflies, I knew THIS was the version for you!

Enjoy!
Comment!