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Bullying!... it's Journal Entry Friday!

THE GOAL OF A BULLY IS TO BREAK YOU!
...to break your spirit
...to shatter your self-confidence.
...to break the image in your mind of who you are.
...to chip away at the strength you have to one day be the best YOU you can be.
...to overpower you to make themselves feel better.
...to pull you down so low that they will be above you.

But the truth of the matter is - bullies are the lowest on humanity's totem pole
Their bellies touch the ground.
You can't get lower than  that.

ALWAYS WALK AWAY!
No matter what they will say about you after you leave.
You know who you are.
You know you have what is missing from their lives.
You know by walking away you are stronger than they will ever be.

Pray for their pain to cease so they can see the beauty the hate keeps them from finding.

Write a letter to a bully who has targeted you.
He/she will never see this letter.
But your words will bless you and take the edge off the pain they have caused.

Tell them why their hate won't scathe you anymore...
Explain to them what your life has that makes it easy to walk away from them...

Write a letter to yourself and praise the beautiful young woman you are!
Give yourself compliments you may never have heard.
Highlight the things that bring beauty into your life.
Celebrate that beauty!

I know many of you are hurting everyday b/c of the words or actions by another teen. I know it hurts.

But just remember:

"The days will come when you don't have the strength

When all you hear is you're not worth anything

Wondering if you ever could be loved

And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
You're beautiful You're beautiful

You are made so much more than all of this..."
~MercyMe

Here's your journal page:

I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND I KNOW YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

I take OFFENSE... and so should YOU

So, I was out with a good friend the other day and she asked me if I had seen a certain movie. I hadn't. I asked her what the language was like b/c I thought I had heard it was chockful of the F-bomb. She said yeah it was but we were grown ups so it was still a funny movie.

As my brain tried to make sense of what she said, I gave her my reason for not having any interest in seeing this movie.

"The people I surround myself with do not use that kind of language so when I hear it, it offends me. It wouldn't be enjoyable for me to sit through a movie like that."

She rolled her eyes.

This made me think.

It made me realize how "normal" our society has made offensive slurs, language and ideals.

And that was an "aha" moment for me as to the downfall of our youth's morals.

I have heard parents justify letting their children see a movie because, "It's not like they don't hear that language at the lunch table." Sure. Maybe that's true. But as a  mom, I am not there to condone that behavior so that justification really does not make much sense.

I know a school guidance counsellor who will not allow students to swear in her office. If they swear, they have to get up, leaver her office, walk back in, apologize and start the conversation over withOUT using that language. Those who complain about this rule often say, "Miss So-and-So doesn't care when we swear in her classroom!" So, if this counsellor cringed through the language b/c other teachers did, she would soon become desensitized and less offended at that language...and the cycle would continue.

So, I want you to think about the friends you are affecting with your offensive language, the hate you spread, the gossip you choose to continue, the rumors you add a little meat to, the dirty jokes you laugh at..... at one point in your life these things made you cringe. You might not remember that. But I promise you, you did.

So, what in your life have you become desensitized to?

Pinpointing these things and using them as a guide to set your boundaries is like dusting and vaccuuming all the grime out of your life.

From time to time we need to do a little Spring Cleaning in our souls...

What will you wash away today?

I would LOVE if you commented on this post... share your thoughts... you can always remain anonymous!!

TOXIC PEOPLE, TOXIC SITUATIONS... it's Journal Entry Friday

Toxic - acting as or having the effect of a poison; poisonous, harmful or deadly, likely to cause significant loss to the holder

So, read that definition and be honest with yourself. Today we will start identifying the things in your life that are TOXIC!

It could be a friendship, an acquaintance, a website, a job, one of your classmates, a boyfriend, a family member, something you are doing to your body, the thoughts in your mind or ARE YOU being toxic to someone else?

One of our older girls on A Girl's Gathering shared how she dealt with her TOXIC situation just last night...

"Girls today took a lot of strength for me to do but I did it, today I quit my job! I am ready to move on to the next chapter of my life and that drama filled place is not where it's at!"

All of the comments she received were supportive virtual high fives! We all knew she did the right thing! But how many of us would have been strong enough to pull away from something like she did?

Sometimes that toxic situation is our closest friend, a family member or the boy we have been dating for a long time. Don't fool yourself into believing that if it would be difficult to walk away, then it's not TOXIC. Many girls fall into this trap, especially with boys! We think that if it's going to hurt, then it must be the wrong choice when, in fact, sometimes the BEST decisions HURT THE MOST!

You know what relationships are like poison in your life. What relationship or situation just seems to suck the life out of you? Who are you with when you feel at your lowest? In what situation do you find yourself doing things that are far from who people believe you to be?

It's time to start doing some soul searching...

Make a list of situations where you made some (or thought about it) bad choices...

Jot down the thoughts you are entertaining that seem ok until you imagine yourself admitting them out loud...

Then make a plan for how you will walk away! It could just save your life.

If you don't have anyone to talk to about this, come join the conversation on A Girl's Gathering or email me privately at mybutterflygirlz@yahoo.com

Use the journal page below to take this first step to save yourself from the drama of toxic relationships and situations!

Demi Lovato and BULLYING

You wanna talk ROLE MODEL?

Demi Lovato discusses her struggles very openly on Ellen. She takes the hand she was dealt and turns it into a way to bless others.

Demi also admits that her almost-near-death struggles are directly related to the bullying she suffered in school. The mean words and hateful comments from her peers almost destroyed her even after she had hit the big time. Bullying is SERIOUS! Whether it's done in person or online... it can truly take the life out of you.

But what is so refreshing to see is someone as HUGE as Demi Lovato being REAL... being HUMAN!
We are all human and this celebrity takes that very seriously. There is no pretending with this pop star. She is REAL, she is AUTHENTIC and there is something to be said for her strength and resolve.
If you missed her conversation with Ellen, check it out here:

...and then she performed...

Girl with SCARS...Journal Entry #6

Dear Journal,

I've realized that there really can never be a ending to these feelings..

You never just wake up and feel amazing again..

That's just not the way life is..

Each day is a struggle, but everyone handles it different..

Some people have different struggles, some just can't handle life..

It's a constant climb up a slippery slope..

Can anyone make it to the top? Does anyone even want to? What's it like up there? I'm sure there are a lot of people up there, cheering us all on..

Maybe we're so far down, we can't hear them..

But just because we can't hear them, does that mean their there? I guess it's the same with depression..

Even if I can't feel it, I just kind of KNOW that it's there..

But I have the choice to give up and slide voluntarily down that slippery slope to the sharp rocks below..

Or I could look my demons right in the eye and say, "I will be strong, I won't back down, you've made me small, but I won't submit anymore.."

it's gonna be harder saying that, but I just keep thinking, that at my funeral, whenever it may be, I don't want them to say, "she succumbed to her demons, she let them have her.."

I want them to say " she struggled, but she never stopped fighting.."

Hey! Hey!

Sometimes you just want to S.C.R.E.A.M!

How many times has an adult said, "You can't worry about what other people think!"

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT?! Wouldn't it be easier to herd 100 cats into a garage filled with Great Danes?

Well, for me, it makes it easier when I am struggling with something to remember that I am NOT ALONE. Right? Think of something you struggle with or worry about.... do you honestly think you are the ONLY person who feels this way?

We are in this together, right? There's always going to be someone who shares your insecurity, your fears, your struggles.

I always encourage girls to STICK TOGETHER - we are SISTERS in this thing called LIFE! We need to ban together and HOLD ON, cuz it's gonna be a wild ride.

This is what girls are starting to feel through my workshops - it's a safe zone. No judging. No cliques. Just OPEN, HONEST REAL GIRLS! And it is so refreshing!

This video is for you! SUPERCHICK is one of my favorite bands! Enjoy this song! And live it!

HEY! HEY!