Courage Integrity Assertiveness Confidence Restraint

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Girl with SCARS...Journal Entry #2

I am thrilled to introduce the second installment of the newest feature on The Butterfly Girlz Blog, "Girl with SCARS," which is a series of journal entries that will amaze you. These journal entries are REAL, truly from a young girls journal. 'Girl with SCARS' writes these journal entries as a way of healing. Some are painful, some are sad and all will leave you wanting more.

Please give a Butterfly Girlz welcome to our anonymous teen writer who prefers, 'Girl with SCARS,' to her own name.

Journal Entry #2

Dear Journal,
Normally when you see someone, "hey! How are you?" is the most popular starting sentence, to which one usually answers with "fine." or "great!" or something along the lines of that.. Usually the person asking the question is satisfied with the pretty boring usual answer, although they sometimes get a puzzled, thoughtful look on their faces, like they're considering asking you again for confirmation as to if you are truly 'fine.' If that happens, I usually decide that it's about time to change the subject. I can fake being 'great' when asked once, but after the second time, my mind starts questioning me.. "should I trust them and tell them that I'm really feeling horrible? What if they start asking more questions? Can I think of solutions to best/worst case scenarios? " if I decide that the person in question is reliable, then I confide that I am terrible, then topics get deep, and I end up telling more than I wanted to.. Usually I end up regretting it... You see, I have trust issues.. But not you're average run-of-the-mill "I can't trust anyone" trust issues.. Mine are more of the opposite actually.. I trust people too easily, and they usually let me down... But its like, I want to trust SOMEONE out there, so I let my walls down, and people return my trust for more hurt... Which ends up making me have the average run-of-the-mill trust issues.. It's quite complex actually...

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