Courage Integrity Assertiveness Confidence Restraint

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Girl with SCARS...Journal Entry #4

Journal entry #4

Dear Journal,

I'm sitting in my room with my earphones in, listening to music, trying to NOT listen to my parents arguing. That's all they seem to do lately. And when they aren't together, all I hear is them griping about each other.

My dads job takes him away sometimes, and a few times I think my mom insinuated that my dad was sneaking off to see some other woman. That hurts me when i hear it. But I'm preparing myself ahead of time. If they separate (which is looking more and more likely) then I need to decide who I'm going to stay with...

Probably mom. But maybe dad. I'm not sure.

I can't tell anyone that my parents are fighting like this. I can tell them they are fighting, but I can't get into details. They wouldn't understand. They'd think I'm overreacting. But they don't understand what it's like when the only thing you hear all day is arguing.

When my dad and mom aren't arguing, it's my sisters or sometimes even me! I'm getting so sick of it! Cant they just... Stop?

When I do my school, I get so stressed. I can't concentrate! No one understands. My mom, again, believes I'm just being lazy.

But she doesn't know what it's like when all you want to do is collapse and let the world drain out of you. When you just can't go on, but you have to anyways. It's so hard!

But... I can't explain that to anyone. Because no one understands.

I'm alone...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Wear your heart on your... shirt!

When you have something to say... say it loud.

"Live by example or step aside so someone else can." - the butterfly girlz

Order your very own BUTTERFLY GIRLZ T-shirt while you still have school shopping to do!

All proceeds benefit "Butterfly Girlz" and "the gathering" programs and workshops.

Pass it on.

Click on the shirt and order yours now!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Kindergarten could teach us ALOT...

As I put my baby boy on the bus this morning for his first day of Kindergarten, I was reminded of a book by Robert Fulghum that I have kept close to my heart for almost two decades.

I thought it was appropriate on what may be your FIRST DAY of school.

As you read these things, please THINK about them... one at a time... so simple, yet so poignant!

We could all learn a few things from our nearest Kindergartener... just not the picking-the-nose part!


[Source: "ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" by Robert Fulghum.  See his web site at  ]
(a guide for Global Leadership)

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.
These are the things I learned:
  • Share everything.
  • Play fair.
  • Don't hit people.
  • Put things back where you found them.
  • Clean up your own mess.
  • Don't take things that aren't yours.
  • Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
  • Wash your hands before you eat.
  • Flush.
  • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  • Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
  • Take a nap every afternoon.
  • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
  • Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
  • And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.

Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Girl with SCARS...Journal Entry #3

Journal entry #2

Dear Journal,
Well, today's a new day, pretty much the same as the last.. People are rushing, rushing, complaining, arguing, and criticizing... Am I wrong to just sit and watch? It seems lately I'm too tired to do anything but watch.. Why am I so tired lately? I mean, I'm tired of living, tired of fighting with myself, tired of tossing and turning night after night, trying to get these feelings out of my head.. That's mostly why my mom complains.. She thinks I'm lazy.. I guess I am.. But I feel so weak and helpless. I don't feel like I'm good enough for anything else... Can I just scream at the world, and make it stop? Can someone please stop this roller coaster called life? I'd like to get off now...

Friday, August 19, 2011

What's your SHIRT say?... it's Journal Entry Friday!

So, wouldn't it be cool if we could have our personality strengths on our clothing so people who only notice someone's looks could have a quick peek inside our soul before they started making their judgements?

This shirt is the one I designed and is on cafepress showing what The Butterfly Girlz as a group stand for.

What would your shirt say?

Have you ever thought of the things you stand for? Have you ever wished you KNEW what you stood for? Sometimes if you jot down the things you dislike about humanity, you can turn those around into the things you WANT to stand for.

For example, do you hate when people lie? Then you can stand for TRUTH. Do you have trouble trusting people who cheat? Then you can stand for INTEGRITY. And so on.

This week's journal assignment is for you to DESIGN YOUR OWN SHIRT with what you STAND for! This could be really cool, considering you can upload designs to cafepress and then order your OWN shirt to wear proudly! SOOOOO COOOL!

As always, copy and print the journal page or use your own journal for your sketches, PLEASE leave a link where we can all see your designs!

Now, get ready, get set, DRAW!!!


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Girl with SCARS...Journal Entry #2

I am thrilled to introduce the second installment of the newest feature on The Butterfly Girlz Blog, "Girl with SCARS," which is a series of journal entries that will amaze you. These journal entries are REAL, truly from a young girls journal. 'Girl with SCARS' writes these journal entries as a way of healing. Some are painful, some are sad and all will leave you wanting more.

Please give a Butterfly Girlz welcome to our anonymous teen writer who prefers, 'Girl with SCARS,' to her own name.

Journal Entry #2

Dear Journal,
Normally when you see someone, "hey! How are you?" is the most popular starting sentence, to which one usually answers with "fine." or "great!" or something along the lines of that.. Usually the person asking the question is satisfied with the pretty boring usual answer, although they sometimes get a puzzled, thoughtful look on their faces, like they're considering asking you again for confirmation as to if you are truly 'fine.' If that happens, I usually decide that it's about time to change the subject. I can fake being 'great' when asked once, but after the second time, my mind starts questioning me.. "should I trust them and tell them that I'm really feeling horrible? What if they start asking more questions? Can I think of solutions to best/worst case scenarios? " if I decide that the person in question is reliable, then I confide that I am terrible, then topics get deep, and I end up telling more than I wanted to.. Usually I end up regretting it... You see, I have trust issues.. But not you're average run-of-the-mill "I can't trust anyone" trust issues.. Mine are more of the opposite actually.. I trust people too easily, and they usually let me down... But its like, I want to trust SOMEONE out there, so I let my walls down, and people return my trust for more hurt... Which ends up making me have the average run-of-the-mill trust issues.. It's quite complex actually...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

SKUNKS - they just spread the stink!

So, I have been thinking alot about SKUNKS.


I don't dislike the skunks, I guess.

But I do hate their STINK!

Here's the thing with SKUNKS:
  • they are carnivores - out for blood
  • they are sneaky and only lurk in the shadows - They simply aren't a very brave species because you rarely see them out from under a safe cover and when you do, they are running to hide behind something else
  • when threatened the SPRAY - a small amount goes a long way, their negative stench can be smelled for miles and can reach farther in a short amount of time than they could go on foot
  • they are the chief carrier of rabies - They are quick spread disease among their kind as well as other species who cross their paths
  • they have these really nasty sharp claws that they use to dig - They can find things below the surface by digging deeper than most species would care to take the time to do
  • they are loners - they can "coexist" with other carnivores but rarely allow themselves "close" to others of their kind or other species
  • we ignore them - we stay out of their way and we don't get sprayed, right?
So, you are asking.... why the conversation about SKUNKS?!

Think about the last person who said something unkind to you that was just UNCALLED FOR... SKUNK!

Think about that comment posted on your facebook that hurt.... SKUNK!

Think about the girl in school who always has a negative comment about other people... SKUNK!

Now, go back and re-read the description of SKUNKS and put those people in your mind in place of a furry little animal.

I have thought about this for a long time...

People who put others down, make fun of people, bully, etc are PUBLICLY ADMITTING that they have low self esteem.

They might as well have a shirt made:

So, when these kinds of people cross your path - although it is sad to watch them head down a dangerous path - sometimes it is best to just head the other way. Ignore. Look away. Avoid. Just like you would if they had a long black and white tail and a REALLY stinky BUTT!

So, this has me thinking:
Could we change the way we think about people who bully? What if we actually started to SEE their actions as a cry for help? Instead of seeing them as strong - their actions prove that they are weak - so, what if that's how we started to see them?

I am NOT suggesting that the rest of us start feeling SUPERIOR! I am just wondering if the bullies realized that their actions were alerting people that THEY THEMSELVES are INSECURE - maybe they would stop.

Maybe if more people knew that bullying was actually a clinical symptom of depression (this is true!), the kids who bully would get help quicker and before the problem got worse. Before they hurt someone or themselves. Maybe the bullies wouldn't act out if they knew WE knew what those actions were saying about the state of mind they were in.

So, this logo needs an acronym - what could the letters S.K.U.N.K stand for that would get this point across in a respectful yet creative way?

The person who comes up with the BEST acronym wins THE FIRST T-SHIRT of its kind with YOUR acronym on it!

Send your entries in the comments section!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Soul Surfer and it's Journal Entry Friday!

This movie was incredible! I cried through the whole thing - just so incredibly moved. I think the thing that had me the most choked up was that the story is TRUE. Absolutely TRUE!

SOUL SURFER is the inspiring true story of teen surfer Bethany Hamilton, who lost her arm in a shark attack and courageously overcame all odds to become a champion again, inspiring millions worldwide through the love of her family, her sheer determination, and her unwavering faith in Jesus Christ. The film features an all-star cast, including AnnaSophia Robb and Helen Hunt, with Carrie Underwood in her film debut, and Dennis Quaid. (borrowed from Soul Surfer website)

My favorite line from the movie was after she lost her arm her dad was helping her try to get up on her board again and he was warning her that it wouldn't be easy. She said, "I don't need easy, I need possible."

"I don't need easy, I need possible."
What in your life isn't easy... but is still possible?

Your journal entry assignment is to come up with this list. If at all possible, I would suggest watching the movie JUST before making your list. The trauma and struggles that Bethany Hamilton endured are sure to put your life's drama into perspective.

I want to challenge you to put your list somewhere where you will see it EVERYDAY to keep your mind focused on the fact that what is possible isn't always easy!

What is possible isn't always easy!

I would love if you shared some of your list with us in the comments.

As always, feel free to print out this journal page to complete the assignment.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Introducing: Girl with SCARS...Journal Entry #1

I am thrilled to introduce the newest feature on The Butterfly Girlz Blog, "Girl with SCARS," which is a series of journal entries that will amaze you. These journal entries are REAL, truly from a young girls journal. 'Girl with SCARS' writes these journal entries as a way of healing. Some are painful, some are sad and all will leave you wanting more.

Please give a Butterfly Girlz welcome to our anonymous teen writer who prefers, 'Girl with SCARS,' to her own name.

Journal Entry #1

Dear Journal,
I was making cookies with my grandma today, and I was scraping the cookies off the baking sheet and placing them on paper towels on the counter... As my grandma walked off towards the dining room to read more of her book, she stated over her shoulder, "just don't burn yourself!" I wanted to reply with "I usually try not to burn myself grandma." but before I opened my mouth, my mind went back to the first time I hurt myself, myself... I had burned myself..

Why? I look down onto the innocent hair tool in my hand. Why? I try to control the shaking inside as I slip my wrist in-between the straighteners bars. Why? I wait to feel the heat, the heat that promises to relieve my pain. Why? I close my eyes tight and brace myself. Why? My skin tingles under the warmth.

Then it's over. I stare at the red mark on my wrist. Did I really just allow that to happen? Did I really just do that? As I stare at the red fading back to my normal skin tone, I breathe heavily.

What have I done?

Friday, August 5, 2011

Be a Songwriter! It's Journal Entry Friday!

Well, Wednesday I posted Demi Lovato's video SKYSCRAPER. I think this song is SO RAW and SO RELEVANT for so many girls today. Demi's life has turned upside down while her fans watch and she has pulled herself up and started to heal with us as her audience.

As I watched the video for the first time all I could think was how HEALING it must have been to literally let it all out on camera. Her face, her voice, her clenched fists all say, "This has n't been easy, but I will survive!"

Think of the worst thing you have ever been through - maybe you are going through it right now - wouldn't it be amazing to let go of all the pain and fill the air around you will words that will help you to heal?

Picture yourself on the set of that video, put YOU in the spotlight instead of Demi and watch the video play out in your mind...(don't let the "I don't have her voice" thought even enter your this exercise you DO have her voice) the camera has just YOUR face in its gaze, YOU are screaming out YOUR pain, YOUR tears come, YOUR fists are clenched and it's YOUR feet walking on broken glass.... the camera pans back and it is YOU letting go of all the pain and all the turmoil...

Now, I can't promise you a video crew and a multi-million dollar video out of this but writing YOUR song would be amazing, wouldn't it?

So, for your journal entry this week, I want you to model a song after Demi's - use the tune and her lyrics as your guide but change the words into YOUR OWN.

Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence, as it's ending, like we never had a chance.
Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears
I awaken and untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed
All my windows still are broken but I'm standing on my feet
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

Go run run run I'm gonna stay right here
Watch you disappear yeah
Go run run run yeah it's a long way down
But I'm closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

I WOULD LOVE LOVE LOVE to see what you have written if you are comfortable sharing! Please leave it as a comment so others can see your heart - I think you will find this exercise VERY freeing! I am excited to see what your heart tells you!

And, as always, feel free to print and use the journal page provided!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Monday, August 1, 2011

Are you a FACEBOOK fake?

Facebook says, "How you present yourself on Facebook says a lot about who you are—just like what you say and do at school or with your friends. In all public places, online and off, it’s important to represent yourself as the kind of person you want to be."

So, WHO are YOU?
Take a peek back through the last couple days of your facebook use... how did you portray yourself?

Did you use foul/offensive language?
Did you threaten someone?
Did you post personal information about yourself or someone else?

Now, here's a real meter for how you are portraying yourself...
Think of someone who thinks you are the greatest - a grandmother, the little girl you babysit for, your little sister or the lady from church...
Now. go back and peek at the last couple days of what you have posted... on yours and the walls of your "friends" - would that person think the SAME way about you after reading those posts?

If the answer is "yes" then you are AWESOME at staying TRUE to WHO you ARE!
If the answer is "ugh..not-so-much" then you have a little work to do, some changes to make... maybe even some apologies to take care of.

There is a lot more info on facebook's SAFETY page about how to use facebook RESPONSIBLY!
You should check it out.
Here is a link directly to the SAFETY FOR TEENS page on Facebook. Check it out!