Courage Integrity Assertiveness Confidence Restraint

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The choices you make DEFINE who you are...

When you don't know what a word means where do you go? When I was a teen, we opened a big fat book otherwise known as the DICTIONARY. Most of you reading this probably "have an app for that" or simply plug in '' on your laptop.

We use a dictionary to DEFINE words  to help us understand their meaning. So, if I said,
"The choices you make DEFINE who you are" how would you feel about that?

I have spent almost my entire adult life mentoring and unofficially counselling young girls on issues that define who they are (or who they think they are).

Girls like you struggle with body image, the longing to fit in, best friend drama, gossip and rumors, boys, sex, depression, cutting, alcohol and drugs and abuse at the hands of friends and family.

All of the decisions you make are weighted in one or more of the things I listed above.

Will you defy your parents and go to that party? Depends on what your bestfriend wants you to do.

Will you try a cigarette? Depends on if the 'populars' are watching.

Will you let a boy's hands roam into territory that makes your stomach sick? Depends on how badly you want him to like you.

Are you willing to risk changing the course of your life based on what your bestfriend, the populars or a boy think? When your choices pull you into a deep hole that you can't climb out of, where will that best friend, those populars and that boy be? They will have moved on.

You will have let their input on YOUR life help to DEFINE the course of your life.

If you look up the word DEFINE, you will read the following:
to explain or identify the qualities of something
to determine the boundaries of something
to make clear the outline or form of
Let's start thinking about the things that DEFINE you...
Grab a piece of paper and answer the following questions without considering what anyone else will think of your answers. You are the only one who will see this.
What are a few things that interest you?
What are you good at?
What healthy things do you enjoy doing?
What world/local issues would you like to see improved?
What are your dreams for the future?
Look at the answers on your list and think of the decisions you have been making in your life with friends or boys. Do they line up? Do the things that truly DEFINE YOU match up with the behaviors you are showing?
Let's try something else - we are going to DEFINE some words.
Click on the following words to see their definitions:
Now, I want you to think about these three words and write YOUR DEFINITION. If YOU were in a dictionary, what would you WANT your definition to be?
Put this paper you have been using somewhere that you can put your hands on it whenever you need to connect with that DEFINITION again. When you need some strength to make the right choice, check out YOUR DEFINITION. It won't be easy to stay on  the straight and narrow but having thought this will help you weed out the bad influences in your life and stay true to YOU!
Friday's Journal Exercise will follow along with this theme of WHO defines YOU!

No comments:

Post a Comment