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Friday, April 29, 2011

Boundaries - It's Journal Entry Friday

Well, it has been two weeks since our last journal entry blog post. I apologize for not having one up for you last week, while on vacation I simply lost track of the days of the week. Before I knew it, Friday had passed.

This week the Butterfly Girlz Advisory Team has been talking alot about BOUNDARIES so I thought this was a perfect subject to bring to you today. We have talked about Boundaries with Boys, but this week we were discussing ALL of the personal boundaries that define who we are.

I asked the girls a simple question, "What are some of your personal boundaries?" and I got some amazing answers, of course, boundaries with boys were included but there were other boundaries that I thought were worth sharing.

"I have boundaries about eating to much junk food & candy"

"respecting myself and my family and not letting people push me around"

"being polite...and being responsible... also I try so hard to be honest in all situations"

Just like we talked about being clear about our boundaries with boys, we need to be secure and sure about our other personal boundaries.

I started this conversation with you yesterday when I posted the conversation I had with a young lady who was troubled by as situation that involved her boyfriend and another girl who was crossing a line. You can read that post HERE.

The way we live our lives and the boundaries we set will shape who we become. I want you to think really deeply about that... I will repeat it for you...

"the boundaries we set will shape who we become"

Teenagers have this notion that their teen years are the time to let loose (you're only young once), be free (if it feels good, do it) and go against authority (I'm tired of people telling me what to do)...

In actuality, your teen years are PRACTICE for becoming an adult. What are you right after you finish your teen years? An adult. There is no grace time in between. You don't live your teen years like a 6 year long party and then have a couple years to get all your ducks in a row before becoming an adult. You leave your teens the day of your 20th birthday. BAM! You are no longer a teen, you are a young adult! There is no grace period.

I graduated from high school a virgin. Yep, the big "V"! It's not for lack of opportunity, I had a serious boyfriend from the summer before my Senior year to the summer after. We spent alot of time together and we spent a lot of time alone. But I was taught that sex was for husband and wife. Little did I know that this virtue I had chosen for myself was not as private as I thought.

One day during my senior year, my good friend Paul leaned across the lunch table and shared something with me I will never forget. I don't remember his exact words but the sentiment he shared had a huge impact on my life.

I knew Paul since 7th grade, we had lots of classes together all the way through to our Senior year. Paul was a really popular guy, had girlfriends for as long as I knew him, was a bit of a rebel (just a little). He was a black-leather-jacket-wearing wonderfully good-looking guy. (He won "Best Eyes" in the Senior noteables)

Paul shared with me that he truly was in awe of the choices I made and how, even amid the pressures of high school, I had remained pure. He said it was beautiful. He said even though he was rarely without a girlfriend, he hoped to someday find a girl with morals set as high as mine.

Now, I didn't wear a VIRGIN t-shirt, I had never had the sex-or-no-sex conversation with Paul. But the boundaries I had set, had apparently shaped who I had become and who I was to those around me. I had no idea MY choices would have such an impact on those around me.

For your journal entry today, I want you to imagine you have a "Paul" in your life throughout Middle and High School. I want you to picture yourself sitting across from him at lunch when he leans over to have a similar conversation with you...

Paul's comments to me revolved around my choice to remain pure. But I don't want your journal entry to relate it to just boy-girl relationships. I want you to think of your boundaries as a whole...honesty, compassion, integrity, trustworthiness, etc.

What kinds of things will your "Paul" say to you?
This exercise is for you to envision yourself at the tender age of 18 and who you want to BE. This journal exercise will give you the roadmap for how to get there.

Here is your journal page:
(as always, I would love for you to share your entries in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so)

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